Until recently I used to be shit scared about losing my sense of happiness and fulfilment. Having fought long and hard to recover from eating disorders and depression, the last thing I wanted to do was fall back into the blackness. And so I invested hundreds of hours (and pounds!) into making sure I never went down that rabbit hole again.
Without being consciously aware of it, my underlying belief went something like: I must be careful! I could regress in any moment! I’ll only be able to stay happy if I do [insert XYZ].
And that’s not surprising. The psychology and self-help world can lead you to think that extreme vigilance and lots of action is a must to find and maintain your peace of mind.
Meditation, reiki, breathing, energy healing, journaling, avoiding toxic people, healing family constellation patterns, managing your boundaries, visualisation, affirmations, past-life regression, prayer, releasing ceremonies – and the list goes on.
This is not to say that these techniques are not helpful. I’ve benefited hugely from many of them, and so have my clients.
What I’m seeing more and more though is that these techniques often end up snow-balling into a never-ending cycle of more more more. And they can actually innocently and inadvertently point us away from a fundamental truth.
Our mental well-being is innate to us.
We actually don’t have to do anything to find it/maintain it/keep it. It’s always there.
IT CANNOT BE LOST. No matter how deep we are in our own particular brand of stress and unhappiness.
You are not broken. Seriously. No matter how anxious or depressed or addicted or lost you feel. No matter what you’ve been through.
Your innate well-being, your healthy, happy state of mind, never leaves you.
It just gets covered over by thinking in some moments.
Our experience changes moment to moment because our thinking changes moment to moment. So no matter how far away from peace we might feel, we’re only ever one thought away.
Like the sun hidden by clouds – we don’t need to see or experience it 24/7 to know that it’s there, and will be back.